Bateman's Mocha isn't weak: 6% ABV, in fact, and very proud of itself. The chocolate is Belgian, we're told; the coffee arabica. It's pale for all that, an off-white head rather than beige, over a body that shines red at the edges.
It smells, unsubtly, of cheap chocolate and cheap coffee, as though the flavourings are an afterthought instead of the main event. The texture is is light, with high carbonation dominating any sugary weight. But sugar there is, in a big way: a sweet chocolate milkshake alcopop with an oily coffeebean finish. I'm looking for dark malt or roasted grain but they're not there. Overall, it's a bit of a one-dimensional experience.
Bateman's rarely put a foot wrong in in my book, but this is one of those.