The black cans

Pale sessiony UK beers that come in small black tins is the theme which suggested itself to me when I inspected the contents of the fridge. It's as good as any other.

Curious Session IPA arrived as a freebie from the Chapel Down wine folk who own the brand. I guess they liked my review of the last one. I was thirsty and this hit the spot bang on. Though it says "triple hopped" on the can as if that means something, the hops are not very prominent at all. Instead there's a soft tannic dryness, like in a decent bitter, and like a decent bitter it's very thirst-quenching. A very slight soapy note on the end is the only real problem with it, though others may feel aggrieved that it's not terribly hop forward. A mild herbal buzz chases the toffee malt down the throat and that's it done. I'd happily open another straight away, something that can't be said of every "session" IPA.

The next beer is Virtuous, from Yorkshire's Kirkstall brewery. It looks more "craft", being a pale yellow with a definite haze and poor head retention. The hops aren't specified, only that there's a plethora of them. I suspect Mosaic. It smells of ripe melon and apricot but tastes largely of caraway seed with just a faint hint of peach in the background. It's perfectly drinkable, a feature aided by a low level of carbonation, and I'm sure it's grand by the pint. But there's an absence of hop zing which I suspect the brewers intended it to have. The trad bitter stylings of the previous beer were more enjoyable.

"A burst of citrus fruits" promises the can of Bone Machine Green Machine. I should probably stop reading these. No heading problems here: it took a few pours to get it all into the glass. The first few of those were a clear and bright orange, followed by a good third of a can of soupy dregs afterwards. The result is a murky orange-ochre glassful. Caraway on the nose this time, and unsurprising yeasty dregs in the flavour. There's a load of smoky phenols in the mix offering eye-watering burnt plastic as the main feature. It's just about possible to taste the mandarin and pineapple that are supposed to be the beer's primary features but it's really let down by badly designed can conditioning. I'm sure that a better time is had with this on draught.

Its companion, Cloud Piercer, was demoted (promoted?) from the Stephen Street News 4-for-€10 to €1 a can, despite being many months still inside its best-before. Bone Machine describes this as an "NZ Pale Ale", so I was expecting lots of those bitter and grassy hops. The aroma is strangely juicy, a peachiness which I'm guessing is Nelson Sauvin but also a medicinal note which I hoped was Motueka or the like but you never know. Details are scarce as Bone Machine doesn't seem to have bothered with a website, but Rakau appears to be the hop at work. The peaches are absent from the flavour, while the disinfectant flavour has calmed down into more of a herbal mint and liquorice vibe. It's still sharply bitter and there's a similar dregginess as in the beer above, but there's a mellowness too, which fits it well to the session theme today.

Magic Rock brings us home with Saucery, palest and lightest of the lot at 3.9% ABV. There's rye in the recipe and I guess that contributes to the strong bitterness. I reckon the yeast bite plays a part in that as well. There is a lighter fruit element -- apricot and lemon zest -- but it struggles to make itself felt under the pointy, gritty foretaste. I picked up a touch of the dreaded caraway seed as well. Nevertheless this is probably the best of the bunch. Its flavours aren't exactly to my taste but at least they're well defined.

Still and all, a disappointing bunch. Give me a clear and well-kept pint of cask golden bitter over any of these.