Frost/Bit

I've owned a Bitburger glass for some sixteen years now -- it's one of the Masterson Bequeathment, and is in regular rotation, but for other beers. I discovered recently that I've never had Bitburger. That has to change.

My assumption is that it's the most basic of mass-market German pilsners, based solely on how ubiquitous it is, in a market that doesn't really have big national brands like other countries. The aroma doesn't sing of hops, but there's something worthwhile there: grassy to an acceptable extent. It's not thin, the texture spot-on for 4.8% ABV, with an almost sticky golden syrup note. Any freshness from the hops that manifested in the aroma is completely gone here. Instead, it's a plasticky sort of bitterness -- absolutely standard for industrial German lager, sadly -- and it sits on an overall cardboard-like staleness, even though the bottle was relatively fresh. I mean, I'm glad I took the time to try it, and I won't object too strenuously on future occasions when Bitburger is the only beer available, but it's not a great beer. Everyone else probably knows that already, but now you have it from me.

What prompted the above appraisal was the arrival of Bitburger Winterbock, a 7% ABV pale bock, something which could either be better crafted for taste, or cheap and nasty and hot. In reality it's not quite either. This doesn't taste its strength, being clean and surprisingly dry, with only a mild hit of syrupy malt arriving late in proceedings. I guess strong and simple is all it's meant to do, and I'm glad it doesn't have the powerful melty plastic flavour which is somehow perfectly acceptable in pale bock but very much isn't for me. At the same time, there's nothing very interesting about it, and I feel a little resentful that a strong lager would be so bland: there was an opportunity to do more here, but they didn't take it. It's not even very wintery: swap the brooding black goat on the label for a cheery one wearing a hat and you have an equally fine summer beer. This should be dark. Winter beers should be dark. There, I said it.

On this showing, Bitburger beers are just on the right side of acceptable, but no more than that. Unless you're in one of the German venues they monopolise, there's probably something better available.