König Beer first: 4.2% and a decent sort of a gold colour. It smells a bit sickly and the first mouthful reveals quite a sweet, corny adjunctish centre to the flavour. I start to run the ingredients through Google Translate. Ah, there it is: kukuruz, corn. Once I know that's there, I find the sweetness building as the beer goes down. Thankfully the carbonation is light, so once cold enough it's easily put away: the one redeeming feature of this waste of baggage allowance.
Similar-but-different Müller Beer is a smidge stronger at 4.6% ABV but paler too. More kukuruz in here but not the same level of sweetness in the aroma and... is that a streak of lemon running through? Probably not. It tastes bland rather than bad. Sweet, but not to the point of being sickly. A few gulps in and there's no further sign of that lemon, or anything else that could be marked down as hops. The nearest thing to flavour is a vague rough cardboardy staleness. I can't even throw in the traditional "watery" criticism because it doesn't even have that. It's a heavily-textured and filling sort of nothing, like a binge on rice cakes.Balkan supermarket lager: you probably don't need to.
