A frugal Christmas

Having spent several recent Christmases in England I found I had developed a bit of a hankering for the seasonal ales that are part of the picture there. Not that they're especially good, by and large, but isn't that the way with Christmas food and drink generally? If it was actually good you'd do it all year. It was a bit of a surprise, in the run-up to Christmas, to find that my local JD Wetherspoon had stuck a bunch of them on tap. So with the last of my shopping done, I dropped by Keavan's Port on my way home to try them out. With four beers to get through, I opted to order in pairs of half-pints, €1.50 a throw.

For round one, the golden chap on the left is Santastic from Maxim, a pale ale, which doesn't sound very festive, but there's a cartoon Santa on the pump clip so it must be. The clip also says it's zesty, and to an extent it is -- lemon peel definitely features. The zest factor is somewhat reduced, however, by it not being quite cellar temperature when I got it: warmth and zest don't mix. There's a dry and crunchy malt base and some sweet citrus candy suggesting orange and lemon chew sweets, before a harder pith-bitter finish. It's bigger and rounder than the 4.5% ABV might suggest and as such is perfectly suited to winter drinking. A traditional Christmas involves citrus fruit as well as cloves and cinnamon, you know.

I paired that with Exmas by Exmoor. Its muddy brown appearance immediately had me a little on edge. The stale biscuit aroma didn't help. This did taste like it had been spiced a bit, though according to the brewery's description it hasn't. What you get is quite a sweet affair, tasting to me like cinnamon cookies. This builds to an almost saccharine level quite quickly and the result isn't very pleasant: tangy and a little cloying. Although there's a certain bitterness that comes with that it still feels unbalanced. Some tannins or just a general drying-out of the residual sugars would help it, I think. I figured there would be at least one vaguely Christmassy dull brown bitter in the set and I hoped at this point that this would be it. Two more halfs please!

Going pale with dark again (can you tell I didn't trust the staff to tell me which is which?) it's Burton Bridge's Santi-Freeze on the left, another 4.5%-er, this time outright yellow. This one smelled drier, less fruity, and so it proved on tasting. There's quite a harsh waxy bitterness here, mixing with rubbery funk and some gastric unpleasantness. I can't even begin to guess what they were trying to create, but it didn't work. I mean, it still tastes fresh and lacks any typical technical off flavours; it just seems to be Not A Nice Beer. The flavours at least aren't strong, but when blandness is a beer's only saving grace, it's straight onto the naughty list as far as I'm concerned. 

OK, fingers crossed for something by an unfamiliar brewery: Milestone in Lincolnshire. This is Donner & Blitzed, a dark ale with a name which applies for a place in Pumpclip Parade. It's the strongest of the set at 5.4% ABV and looks lovely: a flawless garnet. Treacle and toffee is the aroma, and that's the base of the flavour, yet it's not heavy or sticky, turning out pleasingly light and drinkable. On top of the candy is a berry sharpness; raspberry and blueberry in jam form. This is matched with milk chocolate to create a Black Forest gateau effect which isn't especially Christmassy but is luxurious and utterly delicious.

Phew! I'm glad I had a happy note to finish out on. Wishing everyone who reads this a very Merry Christmas.