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Which company is worse: JD Wetherspoon or BrewDog? I reckon you can tell a lot about an Irish beer enthusiast's values by having them answer this. Not that I'm interested in anyone's actual answer. It occurs because I'm in a Wetherspoon drinking a BrewDog beer, on account of my having no values or morals whatsoever.

This is their new core-range pale ale, Planet Pale. It looks a bit hazy but I suspect the near-zero serving temperature had a lot to do with that. Columbus, Chinook and Citra will be your hops today and that creates a fascinating flavour, one part melon and peach, the other TCP and aniseed. I had to pause in case unclean lines or infected beer was the reason for the latter, but I'm reasonably confident this is simply a special effect from the hops. The acidity is green and vegetal; natural tasting, not chemical. It's still a bit of a shock, though, and I believed myself long past being shocked by BrewDog. Other breweries don't put out beers as bold as this as their everyday quaffer on the taps at Wetherspoon. At least, they don't around here. I liked it. It starts to turn oniony as it warmed, but I didn't let it get to there, something helped by an extremely modest 4.3% ABV. The bright, aggressive and above all LOUD hops speak to BrewDog actually living up to their hype, doing what they say they do. That's not to deny their failings in other areas but in general I've had very few problems with their actual beers over the fourteen years I've been drinking them. I welcome Plant Pale to Wetherspoon and I will definintely revert to it when there's nothing I want on cask.

And while I'm here, some cask, obviously. Rampart is from one of the regular breweries to Dublin Wetherspoons, Conwy. I guess they count as some way local. This is described as a dark and malty ale, just the ticket for a warm summer evening. It's 4.5% ABV and a handsome mahogany brown when it settles. It's strange that they haven't slapped a traditional style on this, and it's a shame that such things are dying out as breweries modernise their branding to survive. This is every inch a mild or brown ale, rich in milk chocolate malt with a dusting of tart blackberry or damson. Yes, the strength is a little high, meaning it lacks the down-the-hatch drinkability of mild proper, but it still hits almost all of the same notes. The flavour is robust in general and the texture is smooth and rounded. A quality offering, and one I hope isn't as rare as it seems.

Staying dark but moving north-east it's Maximus from Maxim in Durham. The name is derived from its 6% ABV. It looks appropriately dense and smells richly like a warm and calorific winter pudding. The flavour is laid on suitably thick, with chocolate and toffee meeting liquorice as the only bittering element. A spritz of rosewater perfume finishes it. For all the candystore effects it's not overly sweet, somehow managing to maintain balance. There's a cleanness and precision not often found in strong dark ales, especially on cask, especially in Ireland. A second pint was strongly considered but eschewed in place of Oakham Citra.

The only conclusion I have to offer is drink what you like and fuck the begrudgers. If you want your choice of beverage to be a performative one, have at it, just don't get upset when not everyone takes up a placard from your stack and falls in step with you.